my Fear

I don't think a term is coined for what I have .... phobia of breaking my bone. And I'm not talking about breaking my bones by falling off the first floor ... hell.. everyone should be a lil scared of that. When I'm sitting in a chair and I rest my hand on the handle... stretched outwards ..I get sudden visions of someone falling on it and breaking my elbow. Just thinking of that gives me the shivers and I retract in a second. Weird. :(

Bone head,
me

Revelation

Living each day to discover how I can surprise myself ... turns out I do. "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, That's why it's called the Present" quoted by master oogway. I admit, I thought it was cheesy at first but it makes so much sense.
The following sentence might not make sense to everyone but it does to me.
I am more of a chocolate milk kinda person than a coffee person. This ..I would HATE to admit since I've been drinking coffee like forever. But I loveee cold chocolate milk. What can I say.. I am loco about choco.

Choco Lover,
Me

Who talks and who listens???

In a world where there are makeups and breakups at every corner of the road, what does it mean to give in... to walk right round the corner..just to make someone happy. Who has the breakpoint in a relationship?
The dynamics of relationships baffle me completely. Do we always keep turning tables ... like taking turns to be mad at each other or giving a cold shoulder. How much time are you ready to invest.. just to stay angry with someone and try really hard to absolutely not let your emotions take over. Does this mean .... every reason you get to be to be angry lets you have the breakpoint ????
If you ask me .. it really consumes a lot of time and sucks all the energy outta me. At one point I am begging for drama and the other ... I'm just glad that life is monotonous and fight-free. Boy do I like to do things to the extreme. With me everything is extreme.... xtreme emotions ... xtreme love ... xtreme work. The only thing I lose out on is ... xtreme fights.
I admit... I am a sucker when it comes to taking a stand ...fighting for what I believe in... I end up feeling I am blowing things out of proportion for no apparent reason. I feel really apologetic.. however lame that sounds ... I cant win a fight with someone I really care about. I always go back. Gosh it hurts even to admit it.
I was always taught to dissolve my ego and now I feel I 'm losing my self respect. I need a reason to stand up again ... for myself and for every fight I've lost..the ones I gave in just to not lose someone I love. If any more ... I'm just gonna end up losing myself.

Lost
me.

And this is why I love America

He announces, "bus 240 going downtown thru route 50" and a visually impaired woman climbs in. God bless America for passing the ADA law which makes transportation provisions for the disabled.
The concept of the kneeling bus helps easy access for wheelchairs. I would say it sorta gives a sense of power and accomplishment to someone who didn't believe it was possible. I cant even get myself to think how it would be possible in India. Being able to go wherever your heart desires without feeling crippled.

Every day on my way to college, the bus stops at Loretto..its a home for the aged. A bunch of oldies get in .. they can barely walk .. they absolutely amaze me. Last week a golden retriever(guide dog) got in with his master. It sat right under her seat. Cute ??? It was more than that. The responsibility of guiding a human being was just wow. This just doesn't limit to public transportation. Its everywhere ... the concept of automatic doors and restrooms for the handicapped. If only my grandmother were here.. she would have loved to go around like this.
Then again, it may seem a little sad that the oldies have no one to drive them around. But think again ... they didn't do it for their parents and they don't expect it to be done for them. Moreover, they love being on their own. Its their freedom and they completely use it. I love these free spirited Americans. . and I love America.

Good to be back

Here I am .... back to writing. I thought the change of template will bring back my inspiration..Should it be a significant post ??? I don't think so. I've wasted all this time so that I could write something important ...something amazing. Now I don't remember how I felt on my first day of grad school .... I don't remember how I felt when I went to party for the first time in USA ... I don't remember how my ass felt when I fell on ice .. oh wait I remember that part.. it was numb. But I still don't remember what I felt about the winter ..or the spring.
And now all I know is ... I am obsessed with my nails. I don't care about putting on those extra pounds and I am going through a lot of emotional crisis.

p.s. back to blogging about absolutely insignificant things.

Lost it

Firstly I swear I don't get time to write ..... I really try to.. I pretty much have so many things to write about .. Each time something happens and I feel I should write about it on my blog. But it just doesn't make it to the computer. Now that my inspiration is gone, I am not sure if I can write anymore. The words just dont come to me. Sigh.

Waiting till it comes back

P.S. Winter Season is almost over ... so I guess its time to take out the snowflakes effect from my blog... I survived through it and boy am I glad. Looking out from my window I see the ducks swimming in the pond and having a good time. Birds chirping and flying away. Dog owners walking their dogs. I see people(trust me you long for it) .. jogging, walking etc...It makes me really happy.

Being Ethical

10/10 to do the assignment on my own. I feel rewarded. Its weird how the education system works here.... they sure do keep you loaded with stuff ... so If I need to do this the right way ... then I need to get back to studying for my quiz tomm. Bye see you later.

p.s. I am glad I am honest..

Janhavi Parab
Grad Student

Busy Experiencing...

Each time I thought of putting an entry ... I chose to live the next moment and surprisingly these chain of happy events have not ended yet... so as to start reliving them through an entry in this blog. I will be back ... I need to finish my homework.

love,
J
p.s. my life has become brand new ... looks like its gonna take some time to be old again .. loving it.

Sucker for Romantic comedies

Falling in love .. over and over and over again .. each time with a different line .. each time sounding to you a little cheesy and cliche but it makes my heart skip a beat. Goose pimples come crawling up and I go sinking into my bed .. I've never felt more cozy.
I can watch a movie like a million times ..right from start ..... just to come to that one part that reassures my faith in love... where the struggle ..the innocence.. the cowardliness ..the desperation.. breaks into something so bold and empowering.. this hope is what keeps me alive. Love.. what a feeling.. its good that they've given it a name coz now I can define what I feel.. I know I have that disease coz I know I suffer from it. It makes me happy .. it makes me lose myself completely to someone who I hope deserves it.. :p
I cant help but relate or relive my life stories through these movies .. and as hopeless as it may sound, I try to find my answers to relationships through them. Now you may think its only a movie and I think so too but it lets me live in this world which is so wonderful.
I know Life is hard ..and I know people are not always nice ... and I know you think I am a complete idiot but this is how I plan to live it .. blindfolded and happy.

P.S. Dont try and wake me up..I'm having a beautiful dream.

Signed,
Cinderella

Seven Deadly Sins

Wrath is consuming my time
Greed not letting me stop mine
Sloth for I shamelessly eat it
Pride coz I have to beat it
Lust that I've overcome
Envy is making me a bum
Gluttony hence all that fat

Ahh been there done that. Nexxttt.

P.S Stay away ... this one bites.