Live

If you wanted to lie .. cheat ... hurt ... break ... do it, do it now before its too late. We live our lives by the rules atleast I know I do. We decide whats right or wrong according to our society. They set the rules .. we follow it. ..Why can they decide when they are not accountable? I got home from bangalore and as per the tradition .. I went down to the jogging track to meet my doggy friends, Bappi, Bappa and Polly ... well Bappi and Bappa came wagging their tails and then "along came polly". He used to be this brown lazy dog ..always sleeping. really always sleeping. This time I saw him .. he was white ..no not coz of hair dye .. but he had aged. His life is so short .. he'll probably pass away the next time I come here... but it made me sad. It made me really sad and I thought "Are WE making the most of it? " For all we know we will all turn like the polly's of the world and pass away .. sleeping away through all the things we could have done. If today you think you should have done something .. which was wrong .. crazy .. or inappropriate . do it. Do it before you have regrets later. Go tell the guy you liked him, go kiss your girlfriend's best friend, apologize to the broken heart , live in with the guy you love, have a one night stand, say yes to the relationship you thought was wrong. Get out of denial and live it the way you want it. Life really is too short .. ma childhood , ma teenage ..all done..and now adulthood ... does that really matter? I get flashes of pretty much everything that I have to do .. a want to revolt back to "being taken for granted", a need to be taken seriously , to quit being the "damsel in distress", to stop saying "pity me pity me", to forget about caring too much and put yourself first.. I think I'll execute it one day ... If that's what it takes to have no regrets then I think we all should.

Signed
Awakened Me

Have you felt anything lately ?

I looked at the pile of dust being accumulated while my maid was still in the process of sweeping the floor. I looked at it aimlessly and then got over that act and continued to get ready for office. It was only a while after, I realized my diamond earing had fallen off .. and then I looked back at the pile of dust hoping I'd find it there .. It had disappeared. The maid had already disposed it all ... Do you ever look at things and you get flashes of scenes that could possibly happen, you choose to ignore and next thing you know ..your regretting it. I somehow get it all the time, I have broken a full bottle of ketchup, got robbed off a cellphone and pretty much anything else that can be broken, stolen, dropped, dis functional or lost.. to this feeling. I used to think I could talk to God ... weird as it may seem .. I really did believe in it ..moreover I trusted it. Each time something flashed and I chose to ignore it ... It became a reality ..as though he was mocking me for not listening carefully. His existence became way clearer and louder with the face of my dad telling me.. "I told you so". Does it happen to you or is it just me and the "chemical locha" in my brain. Still trying to figure out, if its really him .. or my conscience or the countless yellings from my parents , that I have lost confidence in doing anything right the first time. For quite sometime I looked at it as this "Super Natural" power I had. Dunno if you would believe this .. when I was my tomboy kid self, the only reason I was in the cricket team is coz I would plead, pray and beg God to get the batsman out in next three balls. It actually happened ..may be it was our classic team bowler but I always knew I was pulling the strings. Seems rather funny now when I think about it .. but those were the days when you could get away by believing in unicorns and santaclaus..Did you ever feel you made some thing change in your life ... you know, like you knew what would have happened and that you cheated fate. May be it was just your fate to cheat fate...now how would you validate that! I guess life tells you something in its own ways .. whether good or bad that depends..there are signs everywhere.. try listening to them.. you may not have all the answers but you'll be happy to feel that you altered the future.

Signed
Hallucinated me

Karma - Breaking the belief

What goes around, does it really come around ? ... when bad things happen to you .. do you ever think you might have done something wrong to someone before .. Well yesterday I was standing in a queue of this food mart..waiting to be billed. The one ahead of me needed change, well to send "goodness" back in the world and hoping I'd get it back someday ...I gave up all my change. Next thing I know the cashier didn't have any change left for me....for all the good you do. Then again, what goes around, does it really come around? I was sitting at the airport waiting to board .. this chick comes to me and asks me to look after her baggage till she uses the ladies room. I agree, coz you know ..she thought I looked like the trusting type or may be like the dumb type coz she plans to blow up the airport ..I'd like to think otherwise. My flight announcement and I go running without a second thought. I am all settled in my seat when I see her coming right at me..I had just ran off leaving her bag unattended ...for once I was relieved that I didn't leave it, at the mercy of other victims who would die. But the guilt of breaking her trust just kept growing as she took those steps towards me. She went for the seat in front of mine. What a relief .. with a smile of embarrassment I said "I am sorry, did you find your bag?". She smiled back. All settled. So you may think .. her reclining seat was not too much of a recliner, it was broken making it fall right on me. I only realized that when they announced "Please keep your seat upright!" but this seat wouldn't budge. I don't break rules ..so with my seat upright and hers right at my face .. I had a squashed flight to Bombay. I hope you could picture it well ... But you sure cant picture the backache. What goes around, may be it does come around! So what would you do to break the cult? Be nice, always do the right thing ...smile when you get burnt? I believe ... always try to do good , go out of your way .. if its practical . Your heart will let you know, when you did wrong. Don't try to be God, but don't forget to be human. After all this , if you still couldn't break the evil...it would at least make you a better person.

Signed,
A God fearing Woman

If i were a boy

I Swear I'd be a better man.